Social Skills Every Child Should Practice Before Kindergarten

Kindergarten brings children into a busy social environment.

They may need to:

• Join a group
• Listen to a teacher
• Wait for a turn
• Share materials
• Ask for help
• Handle disappointment
• Enter play
• Resolve small conflicts
• Follow classroom routines
• Work alongside children with different personalities

No child needs to master all of these skills before the first day.

Social development continues throughout kindergarten and beyond.

The goal is to give children enough practice that these situations feel somewhat familiar.

Why Social Skills Matter

Social skills help children participate in the classroom.

They support:

• Friendship
• Communication
• Cooperation
• Problem-solving
• Emotional regulation
• Classroom participation
• Confidence
• Independence

A child who can ask for help, wait briefly, and use simple words during conflict may have an easier time navigating the school day.

Social skills also support learning.

Children need to interact with others to:

• Join group activities
• Discuss stories
• Work with materials
• Participate in games
• Learn classroom expectations
• Recover from mistakes

Following Simple Directions

Kindergarten teachers give many directions throughout the day.

Examples include:

• Put your backpack away.
• Sit on the rug.
• Wash your hands.
• Choose a book.
• Clean up the blocks.
• Line up by the door.

Children do not need to follow every direction immediately or perfectly.

They benefit from practicing:

• Listening
• Remembering
• Starting a task
• Completing one or two steps
• Asking when confused

Practice at home

Use short, specific directions:

• Put your shoes by the door.
• Bring your cup to the sink.
• Pick up the puzzle and put it on the shelf.
• Wash your hands, then come to the table.

Avoid giving several instructions at once.

Check understanding

You can ask:

• What comes first?
• Show me what you heard.
• Do you need me to say it again?

This is more helpful than repeating the same direction louder.

Use routines

Children often follow directions more easily when the sequence is predictable.

For example:

1. Put toys away.
2. Wash hands.
3. Sit for snack.

Pictures or simple visual schedules may help.

Taking Turns and Sharing

Young children are still learning that other people have needs and plans too.

Taking turns may be easier to practice than demanding immediate sharing.

Turn-taking language

Teach phrases such as:

• Can I have a turn next?
• I am still using it.
• You can have it when I am done.
• Let’s use it together.
• Can we trade?

Practice with games

Useful activities include:

• Rolling a ball
• Building a tower together
• Simple board games
• Taking turns adding puzzle pieces
• Passing art supplies
• Pretend play

Use timers carefully

A short timer can help when two children want the same high-interest toy.

The goal is to make the waiting period understandable, not to force a child to surrender every object immediately.

Do not require children to share everything

Children may have special belongings they are not expected to share.

In group settings, classroom materials belong to the group and may have clearer turn-taking rules.

Expressing Feelings Respectfully

Children need words and strategies for strong feelings.

Useful feeling words include:

• Happy
• Sad
• Angry
• Frustrated
• Worried
• Excited
• Left out
• Tired
• Disappointed

Model helpful language

Try:

• I feel frustrated because the tower fell.
• You look disappointed that the game ended.
• It is okay to be angry. Hitting is not safe.
• Tell me what you need.

Teach replacement actions

Instead of:

• Hitting
• Biting
• Throwing
• Screaming at someone

children can practice:

• Saying “stop”
• Moving away
• Asking an adult for help
• Taking a breath
• Using a quiet space
• Naming the problem

Allow feelings without allowing harm

A child may feel angry and still be expected to keep others safe.

Say:

You can be angry. I will not let you hit.

Asking for Help

Some children avoid asking for help because they:

• Are shy
• Fear being wrong
• Want to do everything alone
• Do not know what words to use
• Assume adults will notice

Practice simple phrases:

• I need help.
• I do not understand.
• Can you open this?
• I cannot find my backpack.
• I need the bathroom.
• I feel sick.
• Someone hurt me.
• I need a break.

Practice asking different adults

Children may need to ask:

• Teacher
• Assistant
• Cafeteria worker
• Bus driver
• Office staff
• Substitute

Role-play how to get an adult’s attention politely.

Listening While Others Speak

Listening does not require a young child to sit completely still.

A child may listen while:

• Looking away
• Holding a quiet object
• Moving slightly
• Sitting in a comfortable position

The important skills are:

• Pausing
• Hearing the message
• Waiting briefly
• Responding appropriately

Practice during conversations

Use short exchanges:

1. One person talks.
2. The other listens.
3. The listener responds.
4. Roles switch.

Read together

After a short story, ask:

• What happened first?
• What did the character want?
• What did you notice?

Avoid turning reading into a test.

Model listening

Put down your phone when possible.

Reflect back:

You are telling me that your friend would not let you use the red truck.

Children learn listening by being listened to.

Joining Play

Entering a group can be difficult.

Teach children to:

• Watch first
• Ask what others are doing
• Offer a related idea
• Ask to join
• Accept that the answer may not be immediate

Useful phrases include:

• Can I play too?
• What are you building?
• Can I be the doctor?
• Do you need another block?
• Can I join after your turn?

Adults can coach without taking over.

Cooperating With Others

Cooperation means working with another person toward a shared goal.

Practice through:

• Building something together
• Cleaning up
• Cooking
• Gardening
• Making art
• Setting the table
• Completing a puzzle

Give each child a real role.

For example:

• One child finds the blocks.
• One child builds the base.
• One child adds the roof.

Praise the process:

You both kept trying until the bridge stayed up.

Solving Simple Conflicts

Conflict is normal.

Children do not need adults to eliminate every disagreement.

They need help learning a process.

A simple conflict process

1. Stop unsafe behavior.
2. Let each child explain.
3. Name the problem.
4. Generate possible solutions.
5. Choose one.
6. Check whether it worked.

Example:

You both want the same truck. Hitting is not safe. What could we do?

Possible solutions:

• Take turns
• Use a timer
• Find another truck
• Play together
• Choose a different activity

Avoid forcing apologies

A forced “sorry” may not teach much.

Help the child repair the situation through:

• Returning an item
• Helping rebuild
• Asking if the other child is okay
• Practicing a different response

Developing Empathy

Empathy is the ability to notice and respond to another person’s feelings.

Children develop empathy gradually.

Practice by asking:

• How do you think they feel?
• What might help?
• What could you say?
• What happened from their point of view?

Books and pretend play are useful tools.

Avoid labeling a child as mean or uncaring.

Focus on the behavior and the next step.

Building Friendships

Children can practice friendship skills such as:

• Greeting others
• Remembering names
• Offering a toy
• Inviting someone to play
• Taking turns
• Respecting “no”
• Checking on someone who is hurt
• Saying goodbye

Not every child needs a large friend group.

One or two positive connections can be meaningful.

Handling Exclusion

Children may hear:

• You cannot play.
• You are not my friend.
• This game is only for us.

Teach them to:

• Stay calm
• Ask once to join
• Find another activity
• Seek adult help if exclusion is repeated or targeted
• Invite another child to play

Adults should distinguish between:

• A child needing space
• A small group finishing a game
• Repeated intentional exclusion
• Bullying

Building Independence

Social independence means doing small things without constant adult direction.

Useful skills include:

• Choosing an activity
• Putting belongings away
• Cleaning up
• Opening a lunchbox
• Using the bathroom with appropriate support
• Asking before leaving an area
• Finding a teacher when help is needed

Offer limited choices

Try:

• Do you want the blue cup or green cup?
• Will you put away books or blocks first?
• Do you want to ask for a turn or choose another toy?

Too many choices can overwhelm a young child.

Allow time to try

Pause before stepping in.

Say:

Try the zipper first. I will help if you need me.

Managing Disappointment

Kindergarten includes many small disappointments:

• Not being first
• Losing a game
• Getting a different color
• Waiting for a turn
• A friend choosing someone else
• An activity ending

Practice coping strategies:

• Take a breath
• Say how you feel
• Ask what happens next
• Choose another option
• Try again

Do not rush to fix every disappointment.

Small supported frustrations help children build resilience.

Respecting Personal Space and Boundaries

Teach children:

• Ask before hugging
• Stop when someone says stop
• Keep hands and feet safe
• Do not take food from another child
• Ask before using another person’s belongings
• Tell an adult about unsafe touch

Children should also know that they can refuse nonessential touch.

Practicing at Home Through Play

Play is one of the best ways to practice social skills.

Pretend classroom

Take turns being:

• Teacher
• Student
• Lunch helper
• Bus driver

Practice:

• Raising a hand
• Asking for help
• Cleaning up
• Joining a group
• Saying goodbye

Puppet conflicts

Use toys to act out:

• Two children wanting one toy
• Someone feeling left out
• A child needing help
• A mistake during a game

Ask the child what the characters could do.

Cooperative games

Choose games where players work together instead of only competing.

Examples:

• Build one structure
• Complete one puzzle
• Create a shared drawing
• Find objects as a team

Family routines

Use daily tasks to practice:

• Waiting
• Listening
• Helping
• Choosing
• Completing a job
• Asking for clarification

What Parents Should Avoid

Avoid:

• Comparing the child with classmates or siblings
• Calling the child shy, bossy, bad, or selfish
• Expecting immediate sharing
• Solving every conflict
• Forcing affection
• Demanding eye contact
• Punishing every emotional outburst
• Treating quietness as a problem
• Using long lectures during distress
• Expecting perfect behavior before kindergarten

When a Child Needs More Support

Talk with the child’s preschool teacher, pediatrician, or another qualified professional when the child consistently:

• Cannot communicate basic needs
• Becomes extremely distressed around peers
• Frequently hurts others
• Cannot recover from ordinary frustration
• Avoids all group interaction
• Loses previously developed skills
• Has communication or sensory needs affecting participation

Support should be individualized.

How This Guide Fits With Overall School Readiness

Social skills are one part of preparing for school.

Children also benefit from:

• Daily routines
• Self-care practice
• Reading
• Communication
• Health preparation
• Familiarity with the school
• A first-day transition plan

For the broader school-readiness checklist, read How to Prepare Your Child for Preschool or Kindergarten.

Frequently Asked Questions

Related Resources

The supplied related-resource inventory did not contain closely related school-readiness articles. The broader preparation guide is linked above so these two resources work together without duplicating each other.

Sources

• Head Start: Social and Emotional Development
• Head Start: Relationships With Peers
• Head Start: Emotional and Behavioral Self-Regulation
• CDC: Developmental Milestones
• HealthyChildren.org: Social Development in Preschoolers
• NAEYC: Supporting Social and Emotional Development
• U.S. Department of Education: Early Learning

ChildCareCenter.us is an independent directory and educational resource. Children develop social, communication, emotional-regulation, and independence skills at different rates. This article is not medical, developmental, psychological, special education, or diagnostic advice. Consult the child’s teacher, pediatrician, or qualified specialist when concerns affect safety, communication, learning, or everyday participation.